Since we are what you could call horror movie connoisseurs, it is imperative that we share with you a list of the greatest horror movies ever. You may disagree, but your opinions will obviously be inferior to ours and will inevitably suck.
This list is for anyone who finds carnal joy in well, the carnage of others.
note* The list will be updated upon review.
1. Evil Dead 2 - Although known to most as a B-Horror classic, this movie is Sam Raimi's masterpiece (Fuck you Spiderman). If this movie doesn't make you reach for a "boom-stick" or a machete you are not among the living (or non-living be as it may).
2. The Omen (The Original) - This movie is the key to the wake up in cold sweats covered in your own urine puzzle. Creepy adolescent (check), impalement (check), and most importantly Satan.
3. Dawn of the Dead/Night of the Living Dead (Originals) - George Romero is the Picasso of zombie cinema. Although instead of oils, he used dismembered limbs, blood, and decaying flesh to paint these masterpieces to which all other zombie cinema is measured.
4. Halloween - The slasher movie of all slasher movies. Only a movie as terrifying as Halloween can cause nightmares with just three notes. Sorry Jason, it wouldn't have taken Michael Myers 88 minutes to kill those pesky counselors.
5. Rosemary's Baby - Roman Polanski directed this horror masterpiece before his self inflicted, child molesting exile to Europe. Witches, creepy old apartment, and pure EVIL.
6. Scream - We realize that this movie is a parody of every B- Slasher movie ever made, but it is actually scary. In poking fun at all other slasher movies Wes Craven (The Master of Horror, himself) is able to kill people in ways that make horror fans giddy with childish joy.
7. Nightmare on Elm-Street - Creepy yet funny, campy yet terrifying, Elm Street is a location that no sleep deprived child wants to find themselves any time soon.
8. Silence of the Lambs - This movie will appear on numerous Top-10 lists as it is impossible to categorize. Part horror, part thriller, part mystery, completely and utterly terrifying. Anthony Hopkins hits the ball out of the park with his portrayal of the educated cannibal, and makes all of us wonder if liver and beans is delicious with a nice cold glass of wine.
9. Saw - The original Saw movie was psychological torture at its bloody finest. Sure it paved the way for the scum-bucket full of excrement known as its sequels, but you cannot fault this modern horror classic for Hollywood's ill advised horror sequel craze (see Halloween 2-127 for proof).
10. The Exorcist - Personally, we did not find this movie scary or even slightly frightening, but a horror list without The Exorcist is like a rock list without The Beatles. If you disagree, we hope you choke on split pea soup.
There are many honorable mentions and readers, feel free to post them below because we cannot, for naming any more than 10 movies in a Top-10 list would show uncertainty. We reserve such uncertainty for women and hipsters.
